Answering the Phone
As a boy, it was always "Bonjour madame" when I answered the phone.
Funny how I used to be angry at it. Now, at the phone, when I answer, it's still "Bonjour madame". And it makes me secretly happy. Not that I became a madame, or that I feel more madame now.
How to say this?
The part of me that knows who they are, that is happiness, joy, the part of me that is freedom answers when I hear "madame". It's liberating because it bypasses the part of me that is in constant conflict with the world. I have to spend so much energy to keep up the pretense.
"Bonjour madame" reminds me that the conflict is vain, it's a made up convention. It's so stupid to fight a battle that has no purpose. I'm fighting to keep myself shackled. "Bonjour madame" reminds me that a world without the shackles exists, and it's up to me to shake them off.